Numbers Game

After over a month on the road, I’ve just arrived home. Here is an attempt to quantify my trip in numbers:


1159 pages of fiction read

200 feet of hose purchased

153 syllables of Haiku composed

150 Starbucks bonus stars earned

103 Contigo thermoses full of coffee drank

100s (possibly thousands) of squandered Starbucks points before I finally caved in and downloaded the app

74 meals eaten in restaurants

39 plastic flossers used

32 consecutive days on the road

20 nights spent at my parents’ condo in Chicago

15 miles hiked in Griffith Park

14.25 hours spent on airplanes

13 pizzas eaten

12 ClassPass classes attended

10.5 hours spent in airports

9 trips to Home Depot

9 tacos eaten

9 nights at an Airbnb in Culver City

8 instagram posts

7 knots of tree roots clogging the sewer line beneath 2642 N. Sacramento Ave removed

5 miles jogged along the Pacific Ocean

5 books purchased

5 loads of laundry done

4 pieces of mail sent by US post

4 plumbers called

4 plays seen (The Humans, The Wolves, Nice Girl, You Got Older)

4 nights at the Dana Hotel

3 Sweetgreen salads

3 remediation experts consulted

3 submergible pumps purchased

2 beard trimmings

2 dolls named in my honor - “Uncle Kipp” - one of which is a crossdresser, the other of which is a hippy well known among the other dolls for hogging the bathroom

2 dreams dashed

2 stays at the Dana Hotel

2 plumbers hired

2 sewer roddings

2 short rib enchiladas 

2 hot power fusion classes

2 Chipotle burrito bowls

1 cab ride

1 uber ride

1 hair cut

1 flooded basement

1 remediation expert hired

1 hydro jetting of my sewer line

1 "clean out" installed for easy access to the formerly clogged sewer line 

1 tool room organized

1 five-day trial membership at LA Fitness in Culver City

1 jibarito eaten (my first) 

1 putting tournament lost

1 scarf lost

1 letter written to a stranger

1 cancelled flight

1 suite of content produced, directed, edited and ushered through post production 

1 liter smart water purchased on 02/05 that has been refilled 3-4 times daily and lugged around the country with me because I chose not to bring my reusable water bottle

1 crushing rejection delivered to me

1 newborn nephew

1 thoroughly confused niece 

0 nights in my own bed

Numbers Game.JPG