A Moon Like You

Why do I rise
and fall,
and swirl,
and thrash,
turbulent
like a sea,
at the mercy of forces
beyond my control?
Why is my
own personal tide
linked to a moon

not of my world

that I see only in part
and can never begin

to understand
in any meaningful way?

A moon like you.

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Sunrise

Clouds perched like mountains.

Empty streets run like rivers. 

Eyes heavy with sleep. 

 

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Probaby, I sound like an asshole...

A couple months ago a friend invited me to write a letter to a service person. I knew nothing about the person to whom I wrote. All I was told was that they were stationed in the Congo, and likely they did not receive much mail from other folks.

 

Crafting something engaging and personal for a complete stranger was challenging in myriad ways. It was surprisingly hard for me to write something that felt complete.

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Let Me Tell You A Secret

A few weeks ago I became an uncle for the second time. My nephew came out of the womb at 10 pounds, 4 ounces. He's a big boy, just like his daddy, and he is an absolute prince, let me tell you.

 

His name is Julian. So far he does a lot of eating, sleeping, and, well, passing gas. 

 

Even though I'm pretty sure he cannot read, I sent him a card. Here's what I wrote.

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Channeling the Masters

Here's a summation, in four quick thumbnails, of all the great works of art in every museum I've ever visited. 

 

I'm pretty much an art historian.

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A Most Curious Vessel

At this point in my life

my eyebrows grow long

and need to be plucked

or trimmed

before they curl,

dangle or poke

conspicuously above

where eyebrows

reasonably should reside

on a human face.

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Do You See What I See?

I went to the Armory Show in Hell's Kitchen this weekend. The show boasts that it "spotlights the best of 20th and 21st century art."

 

It was super cool. I saw some really inspiring work. I figured some stuff out. 

Also - I saw Neil Patrick Harris at the show. He was wearing a hat. He was alarmingly thin. He seemed nice.

Numbers Game

After over a month on the road, I’ve just arrived home. Here is an attempt to quantify my trip in numbers:

 

1159 pages of fiction read

200 feet of hose purchased

153 syllables of Haiku composed

150 Starbucks bonus stars earned

103 Contigo thermoses full of coffee drank

100s (possibly thousands) of squandered Starbucks points before I finally caved in and downloaded the app

74 meals eaten in restaurants

39 plastic flossers used

32 consecutive days on the road

20 nights spent at my parents’ condo in Chicago

15 miles hiked in Griffith Park

14.25 hours spent on airplanes

13 pizzas eaten

12 ClassPass classes attended

10.5 hours spent in airports

9 trips to Home Depot

9 tacos eaten

9 nights at an Airbnb in Culver City

8 instagram posts

7 knots of tree roots clogging the sewer line beneath 2642 N. Sacramento Ave removed

5 miles jogged along the Pacific Ocean

5 books purchased

5 loads of laundry done

4 pieces of mail sent by US post

4 plumbers called

4 plays seen (The Humans, The Wolves, Nice Girl, You Got Older)

4 nights at the Dana Hotel

3 Sweetgreen salads

3 remediation experts consulted

3 submergible pumps purchased

2 beard trimmings

2 dolls named in my honor - “Uncle Kipp” - one of which is a crossdresser, the other of which is a hippy well known among the other dolls for hogging the bathroom

2 dreams dashed

2 stays at the Dana Hotel

2 plumbers hired

2 sewer roddings

2 short rib enchiladas 

2 hot power fusion classes

2 Chipotle burrito bowls

1 cab ride

1 uber ride

1 hair cut

1 flooded basement

1 remediation expert hired

1 hydro jetting of my sewer line

1 "clean out" installed for easy access to the formerly clogged sewer line 

1 tool room organized

1 five-day trial membership at LA Fitness in Culver City

1 jibarito eaten (my first) 

1 putting tournament lost

1 scarf lost

1 letter written to a stranger

1 cancelled flight

1 suite of content produced, directed, edited and ushered through post production 

1 liter smart water purchased on 02/05 that has been refilled 3-4 times daily and lugged around the country with me because I chose not to bring my reusable water bottle

1 crushing rejection delivered to me

1 newborn nephew

1 thoroughly confused niece 

0 nights in my own bed

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